President Clinton takes on his most dangerous enemy yet: a vicious and highly qualified twenty one year old intern. Members of congress engage in heated debate to determine whether Clinton is incompetent—politically. If guilty, Clinton becomes the first president to ever lie, even if he says he crossed his fingers. Senators debate punishment and whether an impeachment trial is necessary or if a 30 minute timeout will do. The chirpy Republican Senator from Maine, Olympia Snowe tells congress a bedtime story in a revolutionary comparison to Goldilocks and the Three Bears, “Clinton deserves a punishment not too hot or too cold.” Snowe received a standing ovation from the senate for her stunning articulation and Papa Bear voice.
Senator Dunn, however, stood face reddened on the Senate floor, asserting serious allegations on the President, “He's a liar, liar, pants on fire”. Clinton was later seen walking in the white house courtyard looking seriously dejected. Some lawmakers believe that just because Clinton is the president, it doesn’t mean he should be held accountable, assering having an affair is a man’s constitutional right. While airing out private matters on the senate floor seems unnecessary, and unfashionable, it is a quintessential part of American politics tracing back to Jeffersonian Era mudslinging. It is unclear what advantage the scandal will have for Republican politicians vying for a seat at the Oval Office, but it can be said that no aspiring law student will ever want to be a white house intern ever again.
Clinton expresses disgust over Lewinsky’s acceptance of the affair, “She used the power of a 21 year old intern to subdue me. I felt threatened, subjugated, the way she wielded her influence brings me nightmares. She must be immensely proud of herself for ruining my career.” Despite traumatic experiences, the commander-in-chief feels that no one should have played on his vulnerabilities, and will work with White House HR to better the situation for powerful men in politics. “I need to go back to work for the American People.” Whether he will still have a place to work rests on the shoulders of Congress.